


Harsh Love (A Christmas Telling)

by DestinyStarlight



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: And Ed and Roy bickering at each other they way they do, Basically just a Christmas fluff for the holidays, Early Merry Christmas!, Ed level swearing, Enjoy!, I mean except for the occasional 'suggestion', I'm not sure how this came out, It's pretty tamed, M/M, Oh, Well - Freeform, Which we all love of course, and Ed feels he has the authority to critizied Roy's fashion choice, and vice versa, but besides that, but what can you expect?, happy holidays!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28200369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestinyStarlight/pseuds/DestinyStarlight
Summary: "He really should have known.All the signs had been there.""If he were honest with himself, which he strives to never be."Monstrosities.All's fair.THE CALM-------------------------------------------------------------Aka - Roy gets a Christmas present from Ed that he REALLY should have expected by now, and fluffy chaos ensues.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Harsh Love (A Christmas Telling)

**Author's Note:**

> I can't tell you much without spoiling anything, but I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Years! 🎄

He really should have known.

_What the_ **_hell_ ** _are those?!_

All the signs had been there.

_Do you have a problem with them, Fullmetal?_

_I think_ **_you’re_ ** _the one with the problem, filthy Bastard._

He’s honestly a bit offended with himself for not realizing. 

_They don’t even_ **_match?!?!_ **

_You’re hardly one to talk, Edward._

And the design _,_ it was so, so…

_At least I don’t have holes the size of fucking-_

_Fucking?_

_Shut...up…_

_I’d love for you to make me._

_Bastard!_

So... _Ed_. Which was quite unfortunate in its own right.

Holding the unsightly objects of fuzz in his hands, he risked a glance up at Ed, whose expression was calm.

Ah, but that description would be an inaccurate mistelling.

As this wasn’t the relaxed calm, on _no,_ anything but _that._ This, _this_ was the Chesire grin kind of calm that required every muscle in your being to hide the devilish grin of excitement you were trying to hide as if you had just done the funniest thing in the last half-century. _This_ was the kind of calm where the face would fall in a neutral, boring kind of expression that Ed could be so known for, only to have an involuntary--though it could be voluntary, _scandalous_ \--grin flutter at the tip of his lip before quickly settling back down to _that_ calm. 

And _that_ calm? That calm meant _war._

_This_ wasn’t going down without a fight. Looking back down at the almost offending pile of fuzz in his hands, he prepared for the role of a _lifetime_.

He knew all those boringly boarish political meetings involved in offending fake smiles and dramatizations of alliances that Riza always dragged him to--if he were honest with himself, which he strives to never be, he would admit that it was less of a drag and more of a very promised bullet wound in the head--would come in handy. 

Rubbing the fuzz with his thumb and bowing his head, he took the first scene, “...Ed…these…”

“Yea?” The tone was more than enough for Roy to know that _the calm_ was breaking way for the Edward patented grin. 

He lifted himself to a knee, “Ed, these are…” and then stood to his feet, his body slouching as though he were defeated; making sure to leak exhaustion into every word.

“Yeah?” The visualization and slight movement of Ed’s shadow that could be seen on the carpet illustrated the perfect picture of Ed moving forward in devilish anticipation in Roy’s mind. 

Counting the perfect amount of heartbeats that he knew would prepare the perfect reaction, Roy suddenly shot his head up and displayed his all too practiced charming smile, full well knowing that the twinkling lights of the tree would lighten his face at all the right angles. “These are perfect! Oh Edward, how did you know that _socks_ were the item I wanted most for Christmas.”

Ed groaned a painful, exasperated groan.

And that, that was victory. 

Now, for the encore.

“And just _look_ at the design, gargoyles Ed, _gargoyles!_ ” He tilted the socks back and forth for emphasis, _“_ How _ever_ did you get your hands on such a _fashionable_ item?”

“Bastard…” Ed warned, his head tilted back, laying heavily on the Christmas tree that continued to twinkle behind him, blissfully unaware of the small ball of rage that was about to explode on it. 

“Oh Edward, you _shouldn’t_ have.” 

Ed was up on his feet faster than Roy could blink. 

Ah, that had done it.

“Criticize my fashion sense all you want-”

“I can’t criticize it if it’s nonexistent, dear-”

“But it’s still a big improvement over those _monstrosities_ you call socks!”

They both glanced down at said monstrosities. 

Sure, he can’t remember when was the last time he changed his socks, and maybe there were a few holes--small ones, mind you--and maybe he had a hard time finding the right matching socks once in a great while-

But he hardly believed that it accounted for such names as _monstrosities._

He glanced back up at Ed, “I think that’s a bit unwarranted.”

Ed looked him straight in the eye, “Roy, you have been wearing those socks for the past **week.** And in that time, they have each gained _at least_ three more holes. Not to mention, you just did laundry, and they _still_ aren’t matching. I’ve seen better hygiene in a pig out run’in in the fields and chase’in after the chickens.”

Roy clutch at his chest, “You wound me.”

Ed blew a loose strand of hair out of his face, “Harsh love.” He then turned around and plopped back onto the floor. “Now get over it and let me see the goods!” Ed rubbed his hands together deviously as he looked at the scattered presents around the room.

Roy brought a hand to his forehead, “Very well, let me just finish dying first.” 

“Ya big baby.”

Roy smiled. Stopping with the theatrics--for now-- he turned around and grabbed one of the presents brightly wrapped in red paper. “I believe this is what you were looking for, your majesty.” He added a little bow--okay, the theatrics were never _truly_ done--and smiled.

“Shad up and give me it already,” not waiting, Ed quickly grabbed the box and started tearing at the paper.

Roy watched with amusement, “I do hope it’s able to live up to that amazing present you just gave me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ed mumbled, his face scrunching up in concentration as he played around with a particularly fussy piece of wrapping. 

“And I _do_ hope it’s to your liking.” 

Ed offered a small hum. Finally getting it, Ed opened up the box and rummaged through the stuffing that greeted him.

“After all, I think it’s just _perfect_ for you.”

Roy couldn’t hide his smile as Ed’s face switched from one of victory from finding the item, to confusion, to unadulterated rage. 

Pulling the item out of the box, Ed eyed Roy with a look that could kill. “What. The hell. Is this.”

Roy stifled his amusement, “I believe, Ed, that would be a comb.”

He was sure one of Ed’s veins was close to erupting. 

“And why, if you would so _kindly_ explain, is it a comb?” Said comb looked like it was about to crack in Ed’s iron--pun not intended but always appreciated--grip. 

“Well darling, your hair has been an absolute _mess_ since you stopped braiding it. It made me wonder if you had forgotten that hair had to be combed a tad more often than once a decade. And then you have that rat’s nest in the back of your head that has just been driving me crazy, so I figured it would be the _perfect_ gift.” He ended with an endearing smile.

Ed, to put it bluntly, was not impressed. With a crack, which was definitely the comb, Ed stood up from his spot, a smile on his face that screamed, ‘I am going to tear you limb by limb, then throw the remains into a fire and watch them **_burn._ **’ 

Ed took a step forward, his head butting up against Roy’s, “Better run, Roy.”

Roy let out a clenched grin, meeting the force of Ed’s head with his own, “Oh, my first name, how scary!”

Ed took another step, forcing him back and let out a frightful smile, “I mean it.”

Roy lifted an eyebrow, “You know Ed-”

“Bastard-”

“I’ve known you for a rather long time now-”

“Fucking-”

“And if that time has taught me anything-”

“Idiotic ass-”

“Is that you aren't one to-”

“Damn, fuck’in piece-”

“Back down from a fight-”

“Smartass, stuck-up, bigshot-”

“So, with that in mind-”

“I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!”

Roy was already halfway across the room when those words hit him, his hand catching the frame of the door as he passed it before performing a sharp turn to the left. Before continuing his sprint, he turned back around, his head poking out to look at Ed as he quirked a brow and smiled,

“What happened to harsh love?”

“All's fair in love and war, asshole!”

“At least I’ll die knowing I was loved!”

“GO TO HELL!”

**Author's Note:**

> I call this, "fluff to heal any angst ya'll been reading 'cause we know we all torture ourselves with it in this fandom and we need that fluff to sooth our SOUL."  
> Or, something along those lines anyway. <.< >.>
> 
> P.S, if you go back and read it again now that you know that (GARGOYLE) socks were in the present, I think a lot more will make sense. 
> 
> P.P.S Thank you for reading and I'd love any feedback! I'm new at this fandom so I could use all the help I can get. <3


End file.
